People that cannot do, teach.

I used to hear this from my ex (and others) frequently. It nearly kept me out of the profession. To be honest, in every profession there are those rotten apples, and to onlookers, that is all they see. Teaching is hard, hard work. My student-teaching experience, to be positive first, was amazing in that I learned so much from my interaction with the students. I learned about them and about myself. Student-teaching as my final stretch of a very long college career was hell. What prompted me to select this topic to write about on my blog was a brief conversation in the restaurant Friday night. There is a retired couple that comes to dine frequently, and this particular night they brought their daughter with them. I remembered that she and I had a discussion previously, many months ago. She is a successful attorney who opted for a career change, yes teaching, and is now in her final semester as a student-teacher of junior high students. So after a bit of chit chat, and her parents catching her up-to-date with my recently gained certification and employment, I asked her, "So how is your student-teaching going?" Her first reponse was a raise of the eyebrows, then widening of the eyes....Then she said "Good, but tough. I love the kids but I really needed this drink tonight!" Then we discussed a bit more about teaching, and before leaving I wished her luck and she said "11 more weeks...not that I'm counting...".

So this brought me back to my student-teaching memories, and combined with my second guessing myself with taking a non-teaching job, it has caused me mild stress this week. Prior to the last semester of the the education program, you get lectures. They don't tell you you can't go out with your friends for drinks, but strongly advise you against it. If you smoke, they strongly advise you to give it up. There were many, many chunks of lectures in class devoted to the sermon on smoking. We were told that you must get an A in the student-teaching experience or you won't get a job. And in my case, I was told by my advisor, give up your time with your kids in order to focus on your career. They even make you sign a waiver if you work during student-teaching. Then there was the work. 3-5 page lesson plans for every lesson you teach, which amounted to (at least) 5 lessons a day. All had to be typed into Livetext (an online lesson planning program) which could be down at any given time and for weeks at a time. We also had to complete an online and hard copy portfolio. In addition, the education department centered their teaching philosophy around Piaget's constructivist theory, so on top of everything else, we were 'advised' to create our own tools for teaching. Then there was the implementation of the lesson plan, coordinating a positive classroom environment, maintaining student attention, and praying to God that you have met your objectives and standards for that particular lesson plan. Not to mention the pages and pages of lesson by lesson required reflections throughout the semester. Meanwhile, student-teachers are planning all these relevant to experience constructivist lesson plans and then comes PSSA testing mid-way through the second assignment. We toss away constuctivism for skill and drill traditional teaching. Students parents are complaining at conferences that their kids are grumpy at home. Some students, even those very academically inclined, cry in frustration over the tesing process. There is nothing harder than than trying to teach curriculum when you know this tired little third grader is just burned out. The result in my personal experience, I had to quit my job, come home at 4 o'clock everynight to type until at least 10 p.m. THEN make stuff for the following days lessons. There were even several nights that I never went to sleep...and let me tell you, teaching a class of elementary students on no sleep is rough, very rough. Alas, in May I reached my graduation day, completely broke, buried under a mountain of debt, my gas shut off for non-payment that same last day of student-teaching, and a B+ for my blood, sweat, and many tears. For all this, I will tell you that when I get there, I will be a damn good teacher. For all the A's I received in the Business program, none were so hard earned as that B+.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the profession. I never fully realized the influence you have on students until the end of my second assignment. I knew that I was a role-model. I knew that students respected and admired me. But one student in particular taught me the depth of that relationship. She was in third grade, very sweet, very smart. I had mistakenly made assumptions, that she must have been from a good family, had few of the personal issues so many students walk into the classroom with. She was one of 26 kids I interacted with everyday, a good student, little or no discipline problems, a little shy at times. I found out later she was one of 8 siblings in foster care. I discovered this when the students were doing "All about Me" books, complete with their birth and family history and experiences through to the third grade. Julie (not her real name) became upset and frustrated because she couldn't get her mom to give her the information for the assignment. This was at the end of my time with her class. My last day, she wrote me a story that I keep with my portfolio. She wrote:

"Student teacher"

My student-teacher just appeared in my classroom one day. She was as beutiful and nice as a wonderful butterfly. I was confused she never appeared out of thin air before. I wondered How long she was going to stay. Tomorrow she's leaving it's so sad. good bye Ms.-

Later, I heard from other teachers that Julie* was crying as she walked out to her bus. I wish I had a wand that I could magically impart to her a belief in herself and the knowledge that many others believe in her...a wish I have for all children. Parting with the entire class, as well as my cooperating teacher, was hard. I too, had become attached to the students.

Teaching is a profession of love. It demands much from a person, emotionally, intellectually, financially (yes, you spend a lot of your own money to get students tools that the district won't/can't provide), and professionally. Teachers are overworked, underpaid and frequently underappreciated.

If you happen to believe that those that cannot do teach, remember that somewhere along the way it was that person that taught, and believed in, you.