So....today my client didn't show up for school due to the stomach flu. I ended up getting a last minute sub call from subfinder(called at 11;40 for a sub job to start at 11:30) so I dropped everything and left. It was a nice afternoon. Taught two classes science (all about negatively and positively charged particles...took a little digging to find that in my brain) one of which was my son's 4th grade class.
So I'm establishing what they know about positive and negative charges as it relates to lightning, and my son, whose class has established clearly that the sub is his mom, answers a question about condensation (cloud forms)and I'm a little proud, can't help it. I teach the lesson then I give the assignment to answer the three questions at the bottom of the page, and I'm explaining and re-explaining, so Derek raises his hand when some of the kids are done. I go to him and he hands me his paper. A paper that has little question marks around one big question mark in the middle. And so, I wondered how he would act with mom as the teacher and I found out. Just like he acts at home! (Oh yeah, and he didn't bring his book home to do the assignment for homework. BUT, I remember the questions and the lesson so the little turd didn't get out of it.)
Thursday, November 29, 2007
My life is crazy....
I have so much going on everyday. It's amazing how things change, and so quickly. The scoop on the job front is this....
I began the year with a client at my son's school, in 1st grade. Things were set up nicely for me and for the kids. I simply dropped the kids off at school when I went to work and took them home after. Well, my client's caregiver decided she didn't like me (for no real reason, no valid on as I was told by my supervisor) so I was pulled from her and given another client with 12 less hours and in the middle school. So I was pretty well screwed with hours, and pay,(not to mention the fact that I had been effective with the client) very discouraged with the whole situation. BUT, in the middle school, I developed a relationship with the Life Skills teacher who has been an AWESOME support. As it turned out she worked in my Aunt's Emotional Support Classroom before getting her teaching certification. She basically didn't want anyone in her room with my client. She told me today, she was especially pleased that if anyone was going to be there, that it was me and has had me sub one day for her, as well as set up another day to sub in two weeks. She also(when I started) set strict hours for me to be with the client and has offered to let me compact those into three days so that I can sub two. She has given me a heads up on future teaching positions and has offered to send recommendations to other teachers for me as a sub for those two days.
This is awesome since I am so very dissatisfied with my job as a TSS. I'm annoyed at being 'fired' from a client because of a wacko caregiver, also because my schedule. I was offered an afterschool job with a client that I refused because of a personal knowledge of the family. Then offered another, even though my supervisor is aware of my schedule with the boys (I only have them during school days, D has one day afterschool and all weekends) and threatened me with losing my partial unemployment if I didn't accept the job. (Funny how I never got a call back on getting another client until after I filed for UC.)
So now, I have two clients, have to hurry up and get afterschool child care, and will probably be substituting more. I just feel like this schedule is going to be insane. However, I might actually have some money for Christmas, and if I get a toe in at the middle school....well the goal is a teaching position. Keep an eye on the goal, Minmonster....
Oh yeah, and my car started smoking this week. Last night I found out it was a head gasket (they are pretty sure). I was all set to go postal thinking that there goes any money I set aside for my sons birthday and Christmas when I was assured it was covered by my extended warranty. Whew. I'm pretty relieved that I didn't cancel it as I had been thinking about for a couple of months now.
Gotta run, my client was sick today and so....I'm out of a days pay. Oh the ups and downs....
I began the year with a client at my son's school, in 1st grade. Things were set up nicely for me and for the kids. I simply dropped the kids off at school when I went to work and took them home after. Well, my client's caregiver decided she didn't like me (for no real reason, no valid on as I was told by my supervisor) so I was pulled from her and given another client with 12 less hours and in the middle school. So I was pretty well screwed with hours, and pay,(not to mention the fact that I had been effective with the client) very discouraged with the whole situation. BUT, in the middle school, I developed a relationship with the Life Skills teacher who has been an AWESOME support. As it turned out she worked in my Aunt's Emotional Support Classroom before getting her teaching certification. She basically didn't want anyone in her room with my client. She told me today, she was especially pleased that if anyone was going to be there, that it was me and has had me sub one day for her, as well as set up another day to sub in two weeks. She also(when I started) set strict hours for me to be with the client and has offered to let me compact those into three days so that I can sub two. She has given me a heads up on future teaching positions and has offered to send recommendations to other teachers for me as a sub for those two days.
This is awesome since I am so very dissatisfied with my job as a TSS. I'm annoyed at being 'fired' from a client because of a wacko caregiver, also because my schedule. I was offered an afterschool job with a client that I refused because of a personal knowledge of the family. Then offered another, even though my supervisor is aware of my schedule with the boys (I only have them during school days, D has one day afterschool and all weekends) and threatened me with losing my partial unemployment if I didn't accept the job. (Funny how I never got a call back on getting another client until after I filed for UC.)
So now, I have two clients, have to hurry up and get afterschool child care, and will probably be substituting more. I just feel like this schedule is going to be insane. However, I might actually have some money for Christmas, and if I get a toe in at the middle school....well the goal is a teaching position. Keep an eye on the goal, Minmonster....
Oh yeah, and my car started smoking this week. Last night I found out it was a head gasket (they are pretty sure). I was all set to go postal thinking that there goes any money I set aside for my sons birthday and Christmas when I was assured it was covered by my extended warranty. Whew. I'm pretty relieved that I didn't cancel it as I had been thinking about for a couple of months now.
Gotta run, my client was sick today and so....I'm out of a days pay. Oh the ups and downs....
Sunday, November 25, 2007
...of my midlife crisis???
Oh, ho, I have not posted in awhile. That last post was tough to re-read. All that happy shit about a new relationship. (WOW do I sound bitter!) Needless to say, it ended badly. Very badly. I was so totally roped in by the lies...lots of them.
And so, although after my marriage I promised myself that I would never, ever take an antidepressant again, I ended up taking one. I was on another brink, one of despair. It was the relationship, and the numerous other little things happening all at once that made me feel like cracking. It was not a good, clean character building hardship. I worked my ass off to get where I am at, meager as it may be, and found myself staring at it all falling apart. I would explain, but even on here it's humiliating. Now mind you, I'm not a kill myself type person in the worst of circumstances. BUT I was having trouble functioning. Couldn't control the tears. I went to see my doctor. She listened carefully while I tearly explained my predicament. She looked at me and said tenatively, "That's a lot for one person to handle on their own, I'm not sure how you did it this long". She asked me if I needed a few days on the 'third floor' and when I refused the tempting offer, she wrote me a perscription. I got over it. I found my strength that failed me for a couple of weeks. And I got mad. You see, I felt so badly for this guy that I helped him buy a car. I didn't put alot of money into it, but the title, registration and insurance was all in my name. He ran, and I didn't know where he or the car was. He refused to meet me several times to get the info switched over. So I called the local police, the state police, the local police when I found out what town he was in and they all said "sorry, its a civil matter, can't help ya." So I started calling people. I knew the town he was in and planned. I decided, enough is enough, took my sister, a sledgehammer, a knife, and the key I wasn't sure fit the car or not. Because if I couldn't drive it, I was taking out the windshield and tires before I left. I drove around for two hours before finding the car. When I did find it, I got in it and drove away. The funny part was when he called the police and reported it stolen. And that was my big revenge for being used and lied to. Not much, but it helped.
So, that nightmare is over with. There is still the ex-husband who asked to keep the kids overnight tonight. Said that they both wanted to stay, so I said it was ok. Derek called and started to cry because he was worried he couldn't because Dalton was crying because he wanted to come home. I talked to Dalton and he was better after I told him that we had two whole, special days together off from school. BUT there was an argument with Darwin and he was so freaking unreasonable that at the end of the first conversation I couldn't speak. He said "well can the kids stay or not?" after he knew he pissed me off. He was saying hello....hello...and I was choking out an Uhh, hmmm, because I didn't trust myself to say anything. "You motherfucking, cocksucking lying selfish son of a bitch" was dying to fly off the tip of my tongue and it was a lot to hold it in. He hung up on me and I took a few deep breaths before calling back. I said that I talked to Dalton and hes ok with staying, that I am not pulling the rug out from under the kids because "you are being a jerk" but just because you are disgruntled about one decision I made you didn't like, doesn't mean I have to kiss your butt for months. Get over it. I hung up. And I am determined that from here on in, I'm done. I cannot talk to the man. It will give me a stroke one of these days.
So tonight, I'm home alone listening to the rain thinking of all the things I don't want to do, thinking of nothing I want to do and feeling quite lost. But the boys are coming home tomorrow. And we will have two very special days together.
And so, although after my marriage I promised myself that I would never, ever take an antidepressant again, I ended up taking one. I was on another brink, one of despair. It was the relationship, and the numerous other little things happening all at once that made me feel like cracking. It was not a good, clean character building hardship. I worked my ass off to get where I am at, meager as it may be, and found myself staring at it all falling apart. I would explain, but even on here it's humiliating. Now mind you, I'm not a kill myself type person in the worst of circumstances. BUT I was having trouble functioning. Couldn't control the tears. I went to see my doctor. She listened carefully while I tearly explained my predicament. She looked at me and said tenatively, "That's a lot for one person to handle on their own, I'm not sure how you did it this long". She asked me if I needed a few days on the 'third floor' and when I refused the tempting offer, she wrote me a perscription. I got over it. I found my strength that failed me for a couple of weeks. And I got mad. You see, I felt so badly for this guy that I helped him buy a car. I didn't put alot of money into it, but the title, registration and insurance was all in my name. He ran, and I didn't know where he or the car was. He refused to meet me several times to get the info switched over. So I called the local police, the state police, the local police when I found out what town he was in and they all said "sorry, its a civil matter, can't help ya." So I started calling people. I knew the town he was in and planned. I decided, enough is enough, took my sister, a sledgehammer, a knife, and the key I wasn't sure fit the car or not. Because if I couldn't drive it, I was taking out the windshield and tires before I left. I drove around for two hours before finding the car. When I did find it, I got in it and drove away. The funny part was when he called the police and reported it stolen. And that was my big revenge for being used and lied to. Not much, but it helped.
So, that nightmare is over with. There is still the ex-husband who asked to keep the kids overnight tonight. Said that they both wanted to stay, so I said it was ok. Derek called and started to cry because he was worried he couldn't because Dalton was crying because he wanted to come home. I talked to Dalton and he was better after I told him that we had two whole, special days together off from school. BUT there was an argument with Darwin and he was so freaking unreasonable that at the end of the first conversation I couldn't speak. He said "well can the kids stay or not?" after he knew he pissed me off. He was saying hello....hello...and I was choking out an Uhh, hmmm, because I didn't trust myself to say anything. "You motherfucking, cocksucking lying selfish son of a bitch" was dying to fly off the tip of my tongue and it was a lot to hold it in. He hung up on me and I took a few deep breaths before calling back. I said that I talked to Dalton and hes ok with staying, that I am not pulling the rug out from under the kids because "you are being a jerk" but just because you are disgruntled about one decision I made you didn't like, doesn't mean I have to kiss your butt for months. Get over it. I hung up. And I am determined that from here on in, I'm done. I cannot talk to the man. It will give me a stroke one of these days.
So tonight, I'm home alone listening to the rain thinking of all the things I don't want to do, thinking of nothing I want to do and feeling quite lost. But the boys are coming home tomorrow. And we will have two very special days together.
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