The Things I Can Do...

Just last week I was in a 'mood' and bitching to my co-worker/friends at the Steakhouse. What I said was "I'm about ready to marry some guy that just has to be around to do some of this shit that has to be done." Nice, huh??? Yeah I was feeling pretty harried and royally pissed off.

I try not to let it get to me. Sometimes in order to put myself in check, I think about what others do. I work with one woman who has two children that are involved in sports, and she works with me at both jobs, as a TSS and at the Steakhouse. But then...she is remarried and has an extra pair of hands and another source of income. Other single mom's...just one job. Other moms...married. Two incomes, two pair of hands. So while I respect that I am not in some hole that no one else is in...I am dad, mom, fixer, cleaner, breadwinner and so forth. It just feels like a lot. I'm not wallowing. I only work one night this week and I feel like I'm getting stuff done.

What got done tonight: First I put oil and washer fluid in my car, then I replaced a headlight which is no big feat, but was a royal pain in the arse. Then I did something about my gas bill. I had been lamenting the loss of my clothes line for a year, since it was attached to the house and the house was sided last summer. I didn't dare put it back, since I'm pretty sure that landlord would have delivered a cow. And I didn't want to get posts and all that and do the whole big permanent thing since I'm hoping to move this summer. So, by the shed there was this pile of cinder block pieces and a long metal post (you know, the ones that are U shaped with the little wholes down the bottom of the U...and NO I don't know what they are called) that I have wanted rid of for awhile. So, I got my shovel out and started digging in the flower bed (easier than in the yard) behind my bleeding heart and dug and dug and dug until I could put the post in far enough that it was lower than the eaves trough. I had to dig about 2 1/2 to 3 feet. I pulled out rocks and saved worms in the worm farm. I got really dirty. So then, I put the post in, took the pieces cinder blocks and wedged them in around the post for some stability. I then took a block of wood and my hammer to pound them in tightly, covered up the hole, fixed the flower bed border and voila...a clothes line and no junk behind the shed. I hope it holds. (I thought about heading to Pattersons for a bag of cement, but the landlord would probably not be happy about that either). I'm almost as proud of this as I was when I replaced all the parts in my toilet or built the boys sandbox. I caught the neighbor watching at one point, an older gentleman who fixes watches next door, and wondered what they think when they see me do tackle these projects. (Crazy bitch, I'm sure of it).

So the good side is that I really don't have to have anyone. I've gotten pretty resouceful (like hanging a shower curtain rod in the bathroom and tearing apart a picture frame to use as supports. It actually looks ok. And fixing the hole in the side of the toilet with gum.) and feel like there is little that I can't do when I put my mind to it. Then I ended my night by making an ass-kicking pasta salad with genoa salami, artichoke hearts, roasted peppers, parmesan, and avocado for the picnic I'm having with the boys tomorrow night. Yeah. I'm impressed with myself. I rarely have these moments so let me be!! :) I'm taking my conceited butt to the couch to watch 'Last Holiday' after I give myself a deserved facial and much needed hand care. Lets face it, I don't want to LOOK like I dig holes.

Hugs to all you fellow bloggers!